I had to learn how to set boundaries in my home staging business the hard way because I almost lost my Senior Stager to burnout. Can you imagine? I felt horrrrrible!
Since the last thing I want for you is to learn the importance of boundaries through your own burnout or that of your team, I'm sharing this story with you. I also go deep into boundary-setting across many of the functions in your business inside my new RethinkYou mentorship program for staging business owners and I'd love to have you join us if you want to grow a healthy staging business that feels gooooood!
Anyway, back to the story!
My heart sank as I listened to my dear friend and Senior Stager, Lisa, share her stress. The reason for her burnout wasn't work-life balance, it wasn't issues at home, it wasn't a sick child, parent or spouse. Her feeling stressed and overwhelmed was a direct result of the lack of boundaries in our business around scheduling appointments.
Up until this conversation, I didn't realize I had a lack of boundaries in the business. I don't think I even realized that I could have boundaries! Like it was an actual choice to have boundaries.
If a client called and said they needed a Styling Evaluation–my version of a home staging consultation–tomorrow, I wanted to honor that “need” even if it meant derailing my schedule and her's. I was in full-on hustle mode to go above and beyond and grow this business no matter what.
But, an odd thing happened when she shared her stress with me about the boundaries. I didn't get defensive, I didn't think the issue was with her.
I started to cry.
I had been feeling the stress but wasn't allowing myself to listen to it. I told myself, “this is just the way it must be in real estate and if I want to succeed, this is how it's going to be”. I had resolved myself to it.
Boundaries should be a part of your operations manual and client agreements that you have in place from the very beginning.
Lack of Boundaries = Scarcity
Lack of boundaries and people-pleasing are good buddies, holding hands. They definitely were in a full embrace with me. But not protecting your time or the way you do business is also about scarcity in general.
I felt scarcity around money and time. I lacked confidence that someone would wait for us–even for a day or two. In hindsight, it's just mind-boggling that I ever thought that! And I definitely wanted to complete an appointment as quickly as possible so that I could get paid and be ready for the next appointment.
I also thought boundaries were selfish. I understood boundaries to be something we use to control other people’s behavior. I found that icky and manipulative. So I didn’t have them. I couldn't have been more wrong about this…
What I've Learned About Boundaries
I've had a lot to learn! After much study, conversation and learning, here's what I know now about boundaries…
- we create them for ourselves and our team
- they're important to protect our schedules and work flows
- as CEO of our company, we have a duty to work with our team to establish healthy boundaries
- systems and Standard Operating Procedures (SOP's) can be created to ensure boundaries are in place and adhered to
Some boundaries are super easy to understand and implement. We don’t tolerate being spoken to in a certain way. We don’t tolerate someone trespassing on our property.
I get it though, in business, it can feel a little more complicated because we want to grow, we want to go above and beyond, and we want our clients to have a positive experience with us so they refer us again and again.
But….that can backfire on us…
What Lack Of Boundaries Costs Your Business
Lack of boundaries can have so many negative consequences such as poor morale, poor productivity, poor calendar management and an inability to scale your services.
Here's what I mean by that. In the beginning of my business…
- I answered texts and phone calls in the evenings and weekends always
- I changed my daily schedule to accommodate last minute appointments
- I gave someone a deal on my services because they promised more business
- I hired an assistant waaaay too late because I thought people would only want me to be doing consultations
The challenge in doing this is:
- I was letting people know that I didn’t have boundaries in these areas.
- Because I wasn’t clear on those boundaries, people kept crossing them unknowingly. That’s important…unknowingly!
- I was getting overwhelmed, resentful and burned out.
- And when I did hire team, my lack of boundaries impacted all of them in a negative way.
But I still hesitated in implementing them because I actually had to follow through and I still had the mistaken belief that it was about controlling them, and not about honoring what I wanted for my life and business.
But over time…I have learned several strategies to implement and follow through on my boundaries…
3 Strategies To Start Creating Boundaries
determine your “Bricks”
My friend taught me the concept of “bricks”. Bricks are habits and practices that are heavy and burdensome to continue holding on to. I bet if you thought about it even for a second, you'd know at least a few of the bricks you are carrying. At some point, we need to let these bricks go in order to lighten our load and let us move more efficiently (and harmoniously) in the world.
It all starts with a journal, a pen and this question….
What I am no longer willing to tolerate in my business.
Once you have a good list of those things you are no longer willing to do in your life or business, you need to think about how you will communicate the “no”. This is really important because if you don't have a ready answer when a request comes up for one of your bricks, your brain will do what it knows which is to say “yes”.
In my business now, we have a 72-hour scheduling buffer, I don’t typically respond to texts or calls in the evenings or on weekends (I even have it on my voicemail message that calls will be returned on the next business day if after 5 pm or on weekends), and no appointments can be added to my schedule with less than 24 hours notice.
Lean on your systems
My systems and client agreements are what I lean on when I’m feeling vulnerable to saying yes when I should say no. In the background of our business, we have several Standard Operating Procedures that keep our team in alignment around boundaries. It all just starts with thinking about how you ideally would like things to operate in your business and writing them down either in a Google document or in a project management software like Asana.
lean on others
Practice and accountability can really help if you are a chronic people pleaser like I am. On every personality test, I am a peacemaker who loves harmony. That makes saying no or acknowledging that I have a preference reallly challenging. In order to honor my boundaries, I stay engaged with my team, business coach and business bestie when I really need to say no. I even practice being more candid with my boundaries at home. Everyone loves that one! Haha! But whatever it takes to help you create a business you don't resent is worth the effort!
Do you struggle with trying to set boundaries within your business? If you would like to learn even more about boundary-setting in your home staging business, then I would love to have you join us in my RethinkYou mentorship program. I can't wait to see you there!
Leave a Reply